Discouraged

Following WordPress’ lead, here’s my one-word prompt: discouraged. I’ve been writing this journal/blog for about a year. The first few posts were scary. I presented myself in a way I rarely did publicly by revealing my beliefs, struggles, and self-discoveries. My desire was to reach those, like me, who receive strong insights, have vivid meditations, have symbolic dreams, and are given intense, meaningful experiences. I wanted to dive deep into understanding my spiritual imprint and share what I learned. I wanted to own how highly intuitive I was, and not just be seen to function in a linear fashion.

I got excited every time someone followed my journal or liked a post. Those seemed to happen on a regular basis. I knew every time I released a new entry, it was going to be read, liked, and I might even gain a new follower. Then, about a month ago, it stopped. My posts were sporadically read, seldom liked, and I hadn’t gained a follower for over a month. I didn’t know why, so I desperately grasped at anything I thought might be the cause. I poured over my stats. Maybe I needed to return to more popular subject matter? So, I wrote a couple of entries on belief and even rewrote and released my book, The Impact of Belief (available on Amazon and iTunes. Then I wrote more about animal medicine and qualities. And on and on. The result? Crickets. Nada. A couple of random likes. Silence. And I got discouraged. Very discouraged.

After weeks of stressing over the change in readership, I dedicated a meditation to trying to understand what to do next. So, I imagined myself back in the hut from Getting to the Lights in My Life Meditation. I was sitting across from the entrance, on the far side of the fire, holding a journal. Some pages were filled, but many were blank. A man adorned in hawk feathers—how appropriate since hawks are constantly appearing lately—said, “Whom do you write for?” Before he asked this, I thought I should be writing for others so they could benefit from what I discovered as I worked to unveil my entirety. But during this meditation I knew that was not the primary reason. My Spiritual Imprint blog is necessary because a public display of who I really am is one of my biggest lessons of the year. I need to be and live as I really am, not hide behind the many masks I have worn.

I came out of the meditation far less discouraged. I knew I was doing what I needed to do for my growth and trusted that those who needed to read my entries would do so.

We all get discouraged. It is a matter of whether we let discouragement stop us or recognize it for what it is and continue doing what we know we are meant to do.

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2 thoughts on “Discouraged

  1. Pingback: Renewed – Spiritual Imprint

  2. Pingback: An Intermingling of Spirits – Spiritual Imprint

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